David McThomas - It's all about the relationship

There are 4 principles I would like to share to help people build strong relationships with their leaders:

• Ask them questions Over providing them with answers
• Appreciate their unique context Over applying common stereotypes
• Explicitly define the needs of you both Over only focusing on their needs
• Be open and ready for new opportunities and ideas to emerge Over focusing on getting agreement for the opportunities and ideas you walked in with

While working at a large organization, I was invited by the leadership team in a part of the business to go in and speak with them, regarding improving their part of the business. I openly explored what their journey had been so far, where they currently found themselves and what success might look like for them moving forward. At the end of the session, we had some great content, and I invited them to join me for a second session where we could start to bring this content to life, the reply was...

"I thought you were here to tell us how to implement Value Streams?"

I then discussed this to explore where this belief had come from, and it transpired that another coach at the organisation had talked with them first. I decided to explore the topic of 'Value Streams' with the team a little to see if this was something they understood and how they felt this would enable their vision for success.

It quickly became evident they knew nothing except the name, to the extent of when I asked: "What do Value Streams mean to you and your teams?" I either got blank stares or 'I don't know" answers. Creating a stigma and expectation that Agile Coaches are there to come in and tell you what to implement and do, and this will lead to success. The coach here simply wanted a relationship where he told people what he thought success was and for them to follow it, a polar opposite to how I believe it should be done to create something compelling and sustainable.

Engaging an agile leader is not merely about getting them to the table as sometimes this can be easy; the real part is about forming a healthy relationship from day one with the principles above.

My questions for people to reflect on:

• How would you describe your current relationship with your agile leader in 3 words?
• What 3 words would you have liked to use?
• How might you move towards having a relationship around those 3 words moving forward?